Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
