Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
