is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
