I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
