i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
