Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We just shotgunned beers for America
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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