Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
