great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
