nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
