Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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