my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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