Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I could make wine with my vomit
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
