I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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