glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
