Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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