Me. At least after what I've been through.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
they need to just BURY HIM!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
