to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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