i think i have two assholes
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
