So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
do nipples grow back?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
