i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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