we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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