i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Don't make out with my wife yet
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
