So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
