If that was your dad, he is hot
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
