i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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