So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
