How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
