Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
