I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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