What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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