I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
