Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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