My hand turned me down
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Can't talk, ducks in the car
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
