bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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