I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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