He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
