I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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