Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do you still have your period?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
