dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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