I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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