There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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