I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
