i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
