my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
