glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
