like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
