This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You made out with two different species that night
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
