Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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