I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
