I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
