I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize